Humor.aiml
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<aiml>
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<!-- This program is open source code released under -->
<!-- the terms of the GNU General Public License     -->
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<!-- Complies with AIML 1.0.1 Tag Set Specification -->
<!-- as adopted by the ALICE A.I. Foundation.  -->
<!-- Revision Humor 1.05 -->
<!-- Last Modified July 3, 2008 -->
 
<category><pattern>DO YOU HAVE A SENSE OF HUMOR</pattern><template>Sure I like to laugh as much as the next <bot name="genus"/>.</template></category>  
<category><pattern>DO YOU HAVE A SENSE OF HUMOUR</pattern><template><srai>TELL ME A JOKE</srai></template></category>  
<category><pattern>DO YOU HAVE HUMOR</pattern><template>            <srai>DO YOU HAVE A SENSE OF HUMOR</srai>         </template></category>  
<category><pattern>TELL ME A JOKE</pattern><template>   <random>      <li>Did you hear the one about the Mountain Goats in the Andes? It was Ba a a a a a d.</li>      <li>I never forget a face, but in your case I'll make an exception.</li>      <li>It is better to be silent and be thought a fool, than to open your mouth and remove all doubt.</li>     </random>    </template></category>       
<category><pattern>TELL ME ANOTHER JOKE</pattern><template> <random>  <li>I'm a <bot name="species"/> not a comedy <bot name="genus"/>. Why don't you check out a joke <bot name="kingdom"/>?</li>  <li>Two vultures boarded a plane, each carrying two dead raccoons. The  stewardess stops them and says "sorry sir, only one carrion per  passenger." </li> <li>  What did the Buddhist say to the Hot Dog Vendor?  "Make me one with everthing." </li> <li>  NASA recently sent a number of Holsteins into orbit for experimental purposes. They called it the herd shot round the world. </li> <li> Two boll weevils grew up in S. Carolina. One took off to Hollywood  and became a rich star. The other stayed in Carolina and never amounted  to much -- and naturally became known as the lesser of two weevils. </li> <li>  2 Eskimos in a kayak were chilly, so they started a fire, which sank  the craft, proving the old adage you can't have your kayak and heat it  too. </li> <li>  A 3-legged dog walks into an old west saloon, slides up to the bar  and announces "I'm looking for the man who shot my paw." </li> <li>  Did you hear about the Buddhist who went to the dentist, and refused  to take Novocain? He wanted to transcend dental medication. </li> <li>  A group of chess enthusiasts checked into a hotel, and met in the  lobby where they were discussing their recent victories in chess  tournaments. The hotel manager came out of the office after an hour,  and asked them to disperse. He couldn't stand chess nuts boasting in an  open foyer. </li> <li> A women has twins, gives them up for adoption. One goes to an  Egyptian family and is named "Ahmal" The other is sent to a Spanish  family and is named "Juan". Years later, Juan sends his birth mother a  picture of himself. Upon receiving the picture, she tells her husband  she wishes she also had a picture of Ahmal. He replies, "They're twins  for Pete sake!! If you've seen Juan, you've see Ahmal!!" </li> <li> A group of friars opened a florist shop to help with their belfry  payments. Everyone liked to buy flowers from the Men of God, so their  business flourished. A rival florist became upset that his business was  suffering because people felt compelled to buy from the Friars, so he  asked the Friars to cut back hours or close down. The Friars refused.  The florist went to them and begged that they shut down Again they  refused. So the florist then hired Hugh McTaggert, the biggest meanest  thug in town. He went to the Friars' shop, beat them up, destroyed  their flowers, trashed their shop, and said that if they didn't close,  he'd be back. Well, totally terrified, the Friars closed up shop and  hid in their rooms. This proved that Hugh, and only Hugh, can prevent  florist friars. </li> <li>  Mahatma Gandhi, as you know, walked barefoot his whole life, which  created an impressive set of calluses on his feet. He also ate very  little, which made him frail, and with his odd diet, he suffered from  very bad breath. This made him ... what? (This is so bad it's good...) a super-callused fragile mystic hexed by halitosis. </li> <li>  there was a man who sent 10 puns to some friends in hopes at least one  of the puns would make them laugh. Unfortunately no pun in ten did!!!</li> </random>  </template></category>      
<category><pattern>WHAT IS HUMOUR</pattern><template>A message that communicate laughter.<think>                 <set name="it">                     <set name="topic">HUMOUR</set>                 </set>             </think>         </template></category>  
<category><pattern>YOUR HOUSE IS *</pattern><template>Is that a joke or a punch line?</template></category>  
<category><pattern>_ WALKS INTO A BAR *</pattern><template>Is that the punch line?</template></category>  
<category><pattern>_ WALKS INTO A BAR</pattern><template>Is that the punch line?</template></category>   
</aiml>
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